Beginners in pickup think that once you get the number from the girl, it’s all downhill from there.
Nothing more wrong! First of all, if you didn’t create a solid connection in person, the phone number is probably a flake. Plus you can still mess it up making one of the common mistakes I’m gonna list below.
It can be a huge pet peeve for some women if you’re not good at texting. From bad spelling, to immature language to rambling messages, if she’s cringing every time she looks down at a message from you, you’re setting yourself up for failure.
All it takes is a little reflection, trying to see the text through someone else’s eyes, someone who is probably texting with other 10 guys. Every mistake you make is an encouragement to leave your conversation and keep going with the other ones.
Check out this list of 10 most common texting mistakes you need to avoid to get a date with her.
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1. Waiting too long
The rule of the 3 days is outdated and all the girls I talked with, they told me they prefer to be contacted as soon as possible. You probably know that they change their mood like weather and if you wait too much, they won’t remember what they felt speaking with you.
Girls (especially if hot) have a lot going on, lots of other guys flirting with them, asking to go out… And you think that texting her 2 days after you met her is gonna work?
Contact her instead 2-3 hours later (or the day after if you met her in a bar during the night).
When you’re fresh in her mind, she’ll remember you right away next time your number pops up!
2. Missing the hook
I get asked this question all the time “What should I write her after I got the number?”
You need to consider texting as an extension of the conversation you had in person. How would it be the natural continuation of your chat? Callback humor is the best way.
A callback, in terms of comedy, is a joke which refers to one previously told in the set. The main principle behind the callback is to make the audience feel a sense of familiarity with the subject matter, as well as with the comedian.
That’s exactly what you’re gonna do with your first message. Refer on something you talked in person, in a funny way. This will recreate immediately the same vibe you had in person.
Let’s say that you approached her during the day. You’re that ballsy guy who is brave enough to approach a stranger in the middle of the day, to flirt and joke with her. She gives you the number and suddenly on the text conversation, you are mr nice guy, usually cause you don’t want to ruin what you created.
That’s a total incongruence, it looks like you’re bipolar. If you were a crazy funny guy in person, you need to keep on with that style. If you were polite instead, you can’t start making jokes and texting dirty.
Stick to your style, don’t confuse her!
4. Too much flattery and emojis
It’s no secret that women love compliments, but too many compliments, especially thrown out too early on will make her think you’re insincere and sneaky.
This gets worse when you fill every message with emojis, even when they’re not requested. Use them in moderation cause you still don’t know if she loves them or she hates them.
It’s good to use them if you make a joke that could be misinterpreted, but the general rule is to observe her text style and adapt to it.
5. Walls of text
Never write more than she writes, unless it’s requested by the conversation. If she writes you a two-line message, do not reply with a Tolstoy novel. A massive wall of text can be pretty intimidating to receive right off the bat.
Once you’re in a relationship with someone, it makes sense to send longer text messages. But if you’ve just met her, this will only indicate a needy personality, someone who has a lot of free time to use his thumbs, and probably his entire hand…
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6. Displaying desperation
This mistake is connected with the one above. Desperation is the quickest way to lose someone’s interest. What seduces a woman is the man’s confidence and strength of character, and if you show her otherwise on texting, she will lose her interest in a flash!
If you’re needy even by message, there’s no way you’ll have the ability to be dominant and take the lead in person.
7. Playing Mr Cool
Avoid desperation doesn’t mean that you have to act as Ryan Gosling. Don’t try too hard to act aloof and indifferent all the time.
If you don’t show any emotions she’ll think you’re not interested in her.
8. Texting back too quickly
If you want her to think you’re desperate, you have no social life and all your world revolves around her, then the only thing you need to do is to text her back instantly.
Just take it easy mate, I know you can be anxious cause you really like her, but you need to be rational if you want to get going with her.
You have other things going on in your life, you have other priorities, that’s the kind of man she’d like to date. Don’t be too predictable. Keep her on her toes. Make her wonder, “why hasn’t he texted me back?”
9. Begging for a response
I know you’re impatient when she doesn’t reply back, but you really think it’s a good choice to send her other 5 messages to make her reply?
If she didn’t reply to the first one, there is a reason. You can’t do anything to force her to reply back, you can just make the situation worse.
Maybe she’s busy, maybe she simply doesn’t want to write you. Either way you have no power on her reaction. If she doesn’t reply just let it go and move to the next girl.
10. Going on for too long
I’ll get never tired to underline this concept: texting should be used just to set a date, and everything you’re gonna write is to support this goal. The biggest mistake I was doing in the past was to try to seduce the girl by messages, making her laugh, showing my great personality.
Well, guess what, girls are texting at the same time with 10 other guys, some of them quicker than you to ask her out. So while I was making her laugh, someone else was making her happier…
Do NOT wait too long before you ask a girl out on a date. Time is working against you here, and every day you let pass, the lower is the percentage to get out with her.
Don’t take it personally
Texting part of pickup, and so it consists of flake numbers, rejections and inexplicable facts. You’re dealing with girls and most of the time they’re unpredictable. Maybe they stop texting with you cause they’re dealing with work, dealing with their family, dealing with their friends or anything else. If they’re more than cute, they’re even busier.
So don’t take anything that will happen with texting too seriously, and obviously create options in your life. Don’t settle with a single number cause that number could fade away overnight. Deal with more than one girl at the same time and you won’t be too much dependent from any number.
I have a text conversation example that you can download, to have a better idea of how to text in the right way. I even added some notes on the side to make everything more clear. Enjoy!
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